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In my household as a kid, although my father was the breadwinner... It was my mother that was (and still is) the strong one. Always the one to keep us in line and keep a watchful eye on what we were up to. She let us be kids and caught us if we fell, but also gave us a boot up the backside if we needed it too.
The way I put it is that my father was the wind in the sails, but she was always steering the ship.